The Diary of a King
by Thousand Mornings
Summary: The accounts of a king's everyday life in his reign of the host kingdom. Yes we suck at summaries. R


_**The King's Diary**_

Angela: Lawl, hello everybody. After being away from for so long, I started to miss it. So, now, I wrote a new story! Yaaaaay, right? Anyway, on with the story!

This is Tamaki's diary; I shall specify whether or not it's his diary or real life. :P

This is a joint account, and Angela is writing at the moment. :D

Disclaimer: If I owned Ouran, which I don't, I wouldn't be sitting in front of my laptop writing fanfiction, I'd be off making the second season and planning the third!

Note: For ALL French words (and other possible foreign words), we used an ONLINE TRANSLATOR. :D

* * *

_**My dearest, most majestic, diary,**_

_Ahh! Kyouya has had a most brilliant idea today! I, the king, the head of all host club activities approve of said idea!_

_Host club popsicles!_

_Yes! My beautiful, princely – no, - __godly__ like face on a frozen, flavored ice treat for those beautiful maidens to enjoy themselves with! Not only will they be able to savor the flavorful taste of the popsicle, but they will also ravish in my beauty! They will be able to enjoy themselves twice as much!_

_Just like myself; it will have perfect insides and outsides! The "King" popsicle will be the most extravagant flavor and the most beautiful details to capture my king-like features! Only the deepest, purest violet for my beautiful, pristine eyes and only the brightest gold for my sparkling blond locks. _

_Oh, how it makes me shiver in anticipation! The perfect popsicle stick, modeled after the perfect being. Anyone taking a bite shall finally experience the true taste of __**beauty**__!_

_But, wait… What shall be the flavor of The King's Popsicle Stick? _

_Hmmm…_

_I shall ask my darling daughter Haruhi!_

**\/Reality\/**

"Haaruuhii!" A wail which, to Haruhi signaled trouble. A wail, which filled her with absolute irritation. A wail which-

"My darling daughter! I must ask a most difficult question! It teeters on the edge of importance as we speak!" Tamaki was exaggerating, obviously, but, to Haruhi's dismay, she was the only one around to listen to his constant whining. The **only** one around.

Where had everybody gone, anyway? Weren't they all just there? She could've sworn-

"What flavor should my popsicle be?!"

Silence, absolute silence.

**\/Diary\/**

_Diary, it looks as if my dear daughter was rendered speechless! I think this issue was far too much for her to comprehend! _

_What shall be the perfect flavor for my popsicle stick? _

_Shall it be strawberry? _

_No._

_What about Blueberry?_

_No, still not right._

_Cherry?_

_It doesn't seem to fit._

_Noooo! What shall I dooooooooo?!_

_There could never be a flavor that can ever suit me, the princely, perfect being that God has created!_

_No, no, no…_

_Oh mon Dieu, mon roi-comme la crème glacée - sucette glacée est en ruines! Que jamais je faire? _

_Oh, non, non, les charmantes demoiselles! _

_Je vais décevoir! _

_Oh, mon, leurs pauvres, faibles cœurs. _

_Il me fait mal._

**\/Reality\/**

An aggravated look was plastered onto The King's face.

As he was writing, he was also screaming his French blabber into the room, which was now occupied by the other members, who were watching the Host Club King have another one of his "episodes."

"Oh mon Dieu, mon roi-comme la crème glacée - sucette glacée est en ruines! Que jamais je faire? Oh, non, non, les charmantes demoiselles! Je vais décevoir! Oh, mon, leurs pauvres, faibles cœurs. Il me fait mal."

He still scribbled, as he screamed this into the air, his hand to his heart, sparkles surrounding him.

"Is he going to be okay?" Asked Haruhi, her face distorted in a mix of amusement and exasperation.

"Yeah, yeah," the twins chorused in unison as they neared the scholar.

"He always does that, it does get amusing at times, mostly, we like to tape it."

Haruhi grunted, walking away towards Kyouya.

"Whenever his little 'episodes' get out of hand, however, you needn't worry, we have sedatives for that." Kyouya's smile was almost so dark, that it scared her enough to move away, far away.

**\/Diary\/**

_Ah! I have the perfect solution! Me and my brilliance!_

**\/Reality\/**

Recovery.

Hair swish.

Scribbling.

**\/Diary\/**

_Perhaps I shall ask Mother for her opini-_

**\/Reality\/**

"**No."**

**\/Diary\/**

_I don't think Kyouya likes ice cream anyway._

_I couldn't possibly ask those doppelgangers! They'd probably suggest a horrible flavor! _

_Like, devil fruit!_

_From the devil himself! _

_The devils!_

**\/Reality\/**

Glare.

Shake of fist.

Scribble, scribble.

…

Friendly Classmate Trio sweatdrop.

**\/Diary\/**

_Oh no, Diary, what shall I do?_

_I cannot ask Hunny-senpai, for he has no flavor which he does not like._

_And Mori-senpai…_

**\/Reality\/**

Glance.

Mori yawn.

…

Scribbly, scribble.

**\/Diary\/**

_Of course! Why didn't I think of it before?_

_My brilliance has slipped me!_

_I shall ask my darling daughter what flavor her most favorite flavor of ice cream! She may not know what to choose for me, but I'll choose what she would like the most!  
_

_Daughters know best, after all!_

**\/Reality\/**

"Haaruuuhiii!"

Annoyed expression. "Yes senpai?"

"What is your favorite flavor of ice cream!?" Hopeful expression.

Silence.

"Coconut."

**\/Diary\/**

_Of course!_

_Ah, my daughter is brilliant! It is clear that she takes after her father!_

**\/Reality\/**

Haruhishudder.

**\/Diary\/**

_Coconut! So tropical! So exotic! Such a beautiful choice! Why wouldn't my daughter love it so!?_

_Note to self: Make sure to bring coconut flavored candy next club meeting._

**\/Reality\/**

"Haruhi," said the twins in unison.

Haruhi gesture.

"Your favorite flavor isn't coconut, is it?"

"No."

Twin snicker.

**\/Diary\/**

_Now I must inform Kyouya at once! _

_Wouldn't my daughter be so surprised and happy that I have chosen her favorite flavor as my ice cream?_

**\/Inner Mind Theatre\/**

"Ah, Tamaki-sama, your flavor choice brings joy to Haruhi-chan's maiden heart!"

Insert rain of rose petals.

"Only for you, my darling."

Sparkles.

"Oh, Tamaki-sama…"

Cheek caress.

"My princess…"

…

**\/End Inner Mind Theatre\/**

**\/Reality\/**

"Kyouya-senpai, tono's fantasies are getting out of hand again."

"I'll get the syringes."

**\/Diary\/**

_Oh no, Diary!_

_They're chasing me with the syringes again!_

_We must depart for now!_

**\/Reality\/**

"Tono! Stay still!"

Hikaru grin.

"We won't hurt you!"

Kaoru grin.

Chase sequence.

Insert cheesy, old school, chase music.

"You'll never take me alive!"

…

Kyouya chin tap.

"Maybe I should have never bought him that diary…"

**END.**

* * *

**Authors' Notes: **

M: Read and Review! Reviews… Om nom nom.

A: :DDDDDD Yaaaaaayy! Chapter two coming soon.


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